No More
by cifan
Summary: Based only on a picture from Season 9. A little story that I couldn't get out of my head. BA.


**Here's a little fic based on one of the Season 9 pics that are posted on The Reel. That picture of them walking away from some sort of accident scene struck me immediately. In my mind, they are walking away from Ross being killed. The look in Eames' eyes inspired this fic. For the purposes of this little story, the second picture doesn't exist. My story starts as they walk away from the fire trucks and head towards their car.**

**Disclaimer: Not Mine. Arrrrg.**

--

He's never seen that look in her eyes, but he knows what it is because he's seen it in his own. Despair. Raw pain as if a wound has been reopened. Resignation. Surrender.

She can't take any of it anymore. Another cop shot and killed, another friend gone. Numb.

She hands him the keys without saying a word. After belting herself in, shoulders slumped, she rests her head back and with eyes half-closed, stares out the window. The world is a blur of streetlights, nothing else. She can't even make out familiar sounds, so she doesn't hear him ask her if she's alright.

He glances at her more often than he should given that he's driving, and when she doesn't answer he waits until they're at a red light then calls her name a little louder, "Alex."

She slowly rolls her head towards him but doesn't answer. Out of concern for her, he rests his hand on hers and the warmth she feels from that contact awakens her in a way she wasn't expecting.

"Are you alright?" He asks her softly.

"No."

The car behind them blows their horn and Bobby looks up to see that the light has turned green. He presses on the gas but keeps his hand on top of hers.

He's surprised by her breaking the silence once they're moving again, "I'm done."

"What?"

"I'm done…I'm sick and tired of shootings and stabbings and beatings…and death."

He pulls into a parking lot and awkwardly uses his left hand to put the car in park in order to not let go of her. He turns himself a little in his seat so he can really look at her. "I know… and when it's someone you care about or someone you know… it's too much."

She turns her hand over and laces her fingers with his. He feels his breathing become heavy and he tightens his grip.

"I want more than this, Bobby."

"What do you mean?"

Words roll out of her in a way he's never heard her speak before. "I want feel the good in people and I want to be able to express what I want. I want to feel like I have a purpose…like what I'm doing matters…I want to feel alive…I just want to…_feel_ because right now, I can't feel _anything_."

In the nine years that they have been partners, he has never heard her speak or sound like she does now. It's as if all along she's been stuffing all of her real emotions deep down inside and at this very moment, she's letting it all out.

"What can I do for you, Alex?" He senses that she's no longer Eames, and that probably, she will never be Eames again.

She casts her eyes toward his, "Take me home."

Slightly confused by her, he puts the car in drive and straightens himself in his seat, "I'll have you at your door in about fifteen minutes."

"No…not my home. I don't want to be alone."

He does a double take, "You - you wanna come home with me?"

She doesn't give him a chance to give her an alternative, "Yes."

--

He doesn't know what to make of her as he opens his door and lets her enter his apartment first. But as soon as he turns from locking the door behind them he has a very clear idea of what kind of solace she's looking for.

Alex puts her hands on his shoulders and presses him against the wall. She doesn't give him a second to comprehend what she's doing as she leans against him then and gets up on her tip toes and kisses him harshly.

Without thinking, he immediately responds to her. He wraps one hand around her back and he runs the other through her hair and leaves it against the back of her head, holding her to him.

When they come up for air she's frantic, "I need you and I need this," she kisses his neck as she pulls his jacket off and he does the same with hers. Then she starts on his button down. She undoes some buttons, while the others she tears away as they resume kissing. His hands are also roaming, and once he has her jacket off, he pulls her sweater off the same way and then yanks her tank top off in one quick motion.

They break their kiss in order for him to lift her top over her head, then he picks her up and carries her to his couch. She wraps her legs around him and presses her hips into his, "Alex," he growls out as he falls onto the couch.

Once they are sitting, she seems to pick up momentum. She pushes his button down off of him then immediately pulls his t-shirts out of his pants and hoists it up over his head. She tosses it behind them and then leans in to kiss him again.

Realizing he's not thinking rationally, he pulls away. "Wait!"

"I don't wanna." She sucks on his neck and he sucks in his breath.

"Please…just tell me what's going on here?" He pleads a bit breathlessly.

"Bobby," she keeps her lips pressed against his flesh as she tries to speak, "don't analyze this. Just give me this."

His head falls back and so much of him wants to listen to her and just let it all happen, but there's a small part of him that is screaming for him to stop. "It's just…Alex…just tell me what the hell is going on here."

She stops and wraps both hands behind his neck. "I don't want to feel death any more. I want to feel alive, and free, and I want to feel love…and I want to feel all these things with you."

"Why me?"

"Because I know you're the only person who can give me everything I need."

He looks at her, really looks at her, and he can't decide if what she's saying is just a by-product of Ross's death, or if it's something more. "But Alex -"

"God damn it, Bobby. Will you just stop!" She gives him an angry stare. "Just stop," she lets out a deep sigh, "just do this for me…_please_." The word please is ground out with such lust and desire that he can't help by succumb to her.

He pulls her forehead against his, "You're sure?"

"Positive…I want you…I need you to make me feel alive."

He runs his hands over her breasts then tightens them on her waist. "That I can do." With that he gets up, still holding her to him, and carries her to his bed.

--

**The End.**

**I'm ending this here. If I decide to continue, I'll start another story, but I can't handle the pressure of having a multi-chapter FF going right now! Thanks for reading.**


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